God is really working on my clay. He answered my prayers. I while back, I ..asked Him to show me any areas that I needed to improve on. He IS! It is scary! It is humbling! It is wonderful! I picture God as working on a bowl, not anywhere close to finished, just hollowed out in the center. He looks into the bowl and says to me, "There, do you see that!” I look into the bowl and see a lump that should not be there. I know it should not be there, I just don't know what it is. God tells me, "It is pride". Pride in ungodly things. Pride in worldly things. Together, we will work on removing it.



Last night I spent a good amount of time praying for God to help me with a problem. I have been working so hard on seeking Him first and have gained ground in that area. I gave my problem to Him and said I would wait for his answer. This is a pretty big problem and on my mind so much. I cried out to him, I ranted and raved at the cause of the problem. I asked for comfort, hugs, peace. I claimed promises that He had made to me in the past and ask for a few more. I finished praying and came out of my prayer room at peace.



I began thinking about waiting on the Lord. I knew this was an area that God would help me with…I needed so much help! P..A..T..I..E..N..C..E   Fruit of the Spirit.   One of my worst faults. But I was already past the first step, I recognized that this was a fault of mine. I remembered all the times I laughed at my lack of patience. I was wearing it as a badge, a mark of honor. I thought of how many times, I laughingly said, “I prayed for patience…and then I took it back!



Somewhere between then and today, I realized that pride raised its ugly head. I was so guilty of wanting to be recognized for my lack of patience. Today I am feeling proud that I recognized that fault. I guess there is good pride and bad pride. I think good pride is used for the Lord’s purpose. Bad pride is used for selfish purposes…ungodly purposes…worldly purposes.



So that brings me back to the lump in the bottom of my bowl. I am glad that God is removing it. I am glad that God pointed it out to me. I am scared about what will happen as He removes it, but I know God is gentle, patient, loving, kind, good, faithful as He works on my bowl. He is the Potter, I am the clay! As He works to give me patience, I will wait on His answer to my problem. I will no longer wear my lack of patience as a crown…instead I open my Heart to the growth that God has planned for me with patience.

Working my clay!

God continually amazes me; I love that.  He gave me a message a few days ago to shift focus of my prayers to my stepdaughter.  So I did.  Not praying anything specific, just praying for her.  God amazed me when I realized that He was "working my clay" as I prayed for her.  I began to see her in a new light, I began to see myself in a new light.  God was working on her but the amazing thing was He was using this to open my eyes to what an awesome person she was. 

She had come back into her children's life after leaving them for about 8 years.  God was helping her to become a better mother.  I can't really tell this with enough justice, but today I saw God working through her to open my eyes and see her as God did. I saw her as God saw her, a sweet and beautiful person with a huge caring heart and a love for God that does not stop.  My eyes were opened to the bitterness in my heart that resulted from her children, my grandchildren, being hurt when she left.  God "worked my clay" and pulled the bitterness from me.  Bitterness is not of God!  He wouldn't allow it.  I didn't need it.  That particular bit of dross was G...O...N...E! 

Sometimes my step-daughter just needs to talk,  just needs to vent.  I do too sometimes.  God is teaching me to not always offer uninvited advice.  So, today, God removed all the bitterness from me.  I will gladly give it to Him. 

I will continue to pray for her as God has instructed me.  Expect the unexpected!  Not from God.  Expect His promises.   I love being amazed, it brings me joy.  I know I can depend on God, it's just fun finding Him at unexpected times and in unexpected places.  Uh-oh, I can see Him smiling, shaking His head joyfully and saying...That's just how it is!